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      Start with a Story: The Surprising Power of Memory in Dialogue

      We’ve been watching conversations from One Small Step, the StoryCorps initiative launched in 2018 to bridge political and ideological divides in the United States. Instead of debating current events or policy, participants simply talk about their lives, experiences, and memories.

      At Mindstory, we spend a lot of time thinking about how memories shape us and help us make meaning. Watching these conversations, we noticed something striking. The most powerful connections emerge not from agreement on issues, but from sharing memories.

      Take the conversation between Alton Russell, a former Republican Party chair in Columbus, Georgia, and Wane Hailes, president of the local NAACP chapter. Russell remembers being out of work and answering a job ad. Asked what kind of work he was looking for, he said, “Anything, as long as it’s legal.” The man hiring him, who replied “Good answer,” was none other than George H. W. Bush, then a candidate for Congress.

      Hailes shares a memory from childhood of going to a laundromat with his parents, only to be told by the owner that they didn’t serve Black customers. His grandfather called the NAACP, who told them to go back. They did. And this time, they were served.

      Hailes and Russell don’t debate issues or engage in ideological discussions—instead, they talk about their pasts, their families, their first jobs. The conversation begins with curiosity, rather than a need to be right or to win an argument.

      There’s compelling evidence that memories and anecdotes are powerful tools for dialogue. A 2021 study published in Nature Communications found that when people share personal experiences, especially those tied to their moral beliefs, listeners across the ideological spectrum are more likely to respect and empathize with them than when those beliefs are framed with statistics or arguments. The researchers call this effect “moral reframing,” and it highlights that human connection thrives on story, not just information.

      One Small Step demonstrates this. Participants consistently report feeling more empathy and openness toward one another after their memory-centered conversations. In fact, researchers at Yale studying the program found increased interpersonal warmth even between people with starkly different political views.

      This approach is grounded in the psychological concept known as contact theory, first proposed by Gordon Allport in the 1950s. The theory posits that under specific conditions, direct contact between members of different social groups can reduce prejudice. One Small Step applies this by facilitating structured, personal conversations between individuals of differing political beliefs, allowing them to see each other as multifaceted human beings rather than mere representatives of opposing ideologies. As social psychologist Jennifer A. Richeson notes, such interactions can transform perceptions, fostering a sense of shared humanity and reducing the tendency to "other" those with different viewpoints.

      Next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone whose views differ from your own, ask them about their memories. Ask where they come from, what shaped them, and what experiences have stayed with them. That might be a better starting point than diving straight into politics or ideology. It opens space for connection, understanding, and maybe, a real conversation.

      Miguel Botero is an editor and project manager at Memria. He has co-produced more than thirty narrative projects on peacebuilding in collaboration with filmmakers and podcasters in Colombia.

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